Mar 042016
 

I need to start journaling again. I have been procrastinating, and have had a lot of thoughts in my head but have been too lazy to put it down. I have a lot to catch you up on, so much it can be really long, so I will probably have to put that down in several posts. I think I will start by trying to remember a dream I had last night / this morning.

I was in my house and I was hearing a lot of noises coming from outside. I looked out and in the East pasture was a bunch of people in a quarter to half circle surrounding a bunch of farm animals like sheep and goats and bulls and there were people mixed in with the animals and it seemed like some kind of disorganized rodeo. I went out to try to kick them out and I was videoing them with my phone. My dad came out of his house around the same time, and in his usual style said he would take care of this. I was standing at the barb wire fence watching and videoing them, making sure I got the faces of what I thought was the main people and the people mixed in with the animals. My dad came back towards me and I noticed he had a bunch of money with him now. I was asking them if they were going to leave and he said not to worry about it, and to go back to the house, I was even more madder now and started yelling at them to leave and that I didn’t want them there. Dad grabbed my arm and pushed me back, and I remember him trying to give me ~$20 in fives and ones, and told me that I needed to erase the videos. I told him that I am not going to erase the video, that is when the dream ended.

I am going to have to try to write more later.

Current Music: ITpro.tv
  
Mood : happycalm
Music : ITpro.tv
Sep 112011
 

Ever since I have opened that trunk last Monday night / Tue morning I have been having dreams that I have not had in a long time. I think my mind is trying to remember those times or trying to connect the past with the present. It is very strange how the mind works that way. I am getting memories back of things that I completely forgot about. So far it has been all good things that have resurfaced. It is odd how long ago it was. I keep on thinking that 1992 was just a couple of years ago, and then I actually do the math and no, that was 20 years ago. All the music we listened to in high school technically should be on the classic rock radio station right along with Elvis and The Beatles.

The other night I had a new dream which I think is trying to piece the old with the new. I went back to a restaurant I used to work at (in the dream) where there used to be a kitchen and dining on two floors. I came back to visit, and they did away with dining on the second floor but the kitchen was gone on the first. So the staff had to haul the food and dishes up and down the stairs all the time. I went back and peaked in the kitchen and there were several people there who I didn’t recognize but recognized me. They seemed to be pissed or angry, they were frowning anyway. After that I had gone back to my car, which was my old Saturn I had, and there was snow on the ground.

Now I did work at a place called The Manor House in Denver, and it did have three floors, the basement was the dish / veg prep area, and it did have two floors of dining and two kitchens, the top kitchen they opened up on weekends and when it was going to be busy. I was a dishwasher there and was in Restaurant Arts class at the time and wanted to cook there. I kept on asking the chef to let me cook for them and they didn’t let me. They did let me bus tables for a while. I finally quit because I applied to be a cook but ended up washing dishes because they said that when a position opens up to cook I would, even though I saw people hired on as cooks several times, without promoting me there. They did have the best wild mushroom strudel there. It was layers of philo dough / puff pastry, 5 or 6 different mushrooms, and a yummy Madeira wine cream sauce. I have always wanted to try to veganise it and make it but I haven’t done it yet.

Anyway, I don’t know if the dream had anything to do with The Manor House, but that is the only correlation I can make.

In other news, show me your tits! hahahaha! Jared@whogivesacrap.net hahahaha

  
 Posted by at 10:47 pm
Apr 012010
 

I have had a recurring dream the last few days or so. I am at a strange airport with some friends (who I don’t know) waiting for my layover which I know is at least 6 and a half hours. Everyone decides to go their separate way and I run into a friend, (who was not a part of the original group) Jewel. It was weird running into her because she didn’t know I was going to be there (I think) and she had her own agenda and was on a long layover too. (maybe overnight or weather related or because that is how airlines like to fuck us). Anyway we are both surprised to see each other and hug and decide to hang out. We end up somewhere on those airport chairs and are resting. I am slouching on the chair and she is resting her head and chest on my shoulder, neck, and chest with her hand on my chest as well. That is all I can remember of it. I remember how nice it was.

I put my self on the scale today and I have lost nine pounds since the end of Jan. I am glad I am still on the losing track, however I was hoping to lose a bit more by now. I am still doing pretty good on everything. A little slip here and there, but that happens.

My house has felt so empty since Tammy left. I can still see and smell remnants of her being here, and I remember all her girl things (lotions, sprays, soaps) . It definitely makes me realize how lonely I am and how much I am missing out on life and a partner with having someone stay with you a week and then suddenly disappear. We aren’t even dating and there wasn’t sex involved and I am so pathetic over her visiting. I am pathetic. I don’t even know why I allow myself to get this way since I am such a gross specimen of a man. Anyway…

Another thing I can’t stop getting out of my head is how we were treated at Sublime. The hostess was snotty, same with the waitress. And when we went into the retail area of the restaurant (after I had already dropped a bill on dinner) Tammy noticed that they were both looking at us and watching us, then they continued to look and watch when we went to the bar to pay for the things we picked up which I noticed when the bartender was adding up our stuff. I put my displeasure on the Sublime fb page but it has since been removed without any response from them. So that makes things even more bitter in my mouth for them. I guess if I want to eat at an all vegan restaurant again, instead of driving 5 hours I will have to go to DC.

  
Mood : happylonely
Music : Ministry
 Posted by at 8:07 pm
Dec 092007
 

My weekend went by pretty darned fast.

On Thursday I spent all day looking for a single station cordless Vonage phone. The only ones I found was out of stock for $60, or was $100 at Best Buy. I ended up buying one for $80 that had three stations on it, it had an $80 mail in rebate as well, but the rebate won’t happen until after two months of service with Vonage. I spent about 5 hours looking in multiple places and finally gave up and bought that one. I also went grocery shopping as well and bought some other odds and ends while I was out. I got home, plugged up the system, went online and within 5 minutes I had dialtone. No muss no fuss, no wonder so many people hate having to wait several days for Bright House. Anyway, I let the batteries charge for several hours and then I packed it up to ship it out the next day. It left Miami this morning so I am sure it is already in Mexico by now. If it goes through customs quickly she should get it by Wed. That is going to make life so much easier and cheaper. We can talk all we want and not worry about running up the bill.

I got Govinda’s Sound Sutras in the mail on Thursday as well. It is really good. I love it! If you haven’t ever heard of Govinda I highly recommend you check them out. They are pretty good. Maybe I will post a song later on.

Last night I had a dream about joining the Navy or the Air Force, I don’t remember which one, but I think it was the Air Force. I was in the recruiters office and he had the paperwork ready for me to fill out and I mentioned my stint with the Navy and how I couldn’t run fast enough for them and about my knees and stuff. I remember sitting there looking at the paperwork realising that and remembering the experience before and sitting there wondering if this is something that I really wanted to do.

I spent some time cleaning this weekend too, I filled four trash bags full of trash. The other day (Wed I think) I realised that I have a dishwasher that is completely empty that I don’t use. I have issues with storage and I decided to move my plates down there and open up more space in doing so. I wish I had thought about that prior to.

Current Music: http://jared.serveftp.net:9000
  
 Posted by at 7:57 pm
Jul 142007
 

If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
– George Carlin

Last night I had a dream that my teeth and fillings and other plastic parts dealing with my mouth kept on falling out. It was a weird feeling and something I have never drembt about before. I remember the roots being hollow and red and bloody. I was out with a group of people doing something (I don’t remember) but I was near a fire station and when the first one came out they gave me some pain killers, and then more fell out quickly after that. It seemed like my k9 teeth were the ones that fell out and also my fillings. I remember tht the people I was with was trying to get me to a dentist about it but we never did leave to go for some reason.

Yesterday I went and hung out with Carol and Oli. We ate, and we went to the sunset and ate again. For dinner we had Thai food. I got this really yummy peanut curry with potatoes and tofu that was out of this world.

Pictures are here:

Anyway, I got home kind of late, and the 13th happened to be our two month a versery and she was so upset because we didn’t spend any time chatting with each other that she broke up with me today. Fucking sucks. She said that I dont pay enough attention to her and I don’t care about her and that this I guess is going to be a weeek apart to see if I do truly want her and we will talk back in a week. I am really mad abotu the fucknig thing I don’t know what to do.

Anyway, that is the update…. Take it or leave it.

  
Mood : happydepressed
Music : http:///jared.serveftp.net:9000
Tv : Baby Boy
 Posted by at 11:24 pm
Feb 112007
 

Last night, well actually this morning I had a really weird dream. I am going to try to remember it because it is kinda complicated…

It started with me in this house, I think that it was an older house, and it had several stories. I remember that my friend, maybe Jewel? gave me several plants and a plant light and a heat lamp of sorts. In the beginning of the dream for some reason I thought that they were pot plants but they ended up being a pothos plants, and that was kinda weird. The plant light was also about six inches long and four inches wide and more cylindrical in shape. It was odd. I then remember going out and being in this restaurant and then I decided to look for something and ended up at some other store frantically looking for it (I forgot what I was looking for, it might have been medicine or something). Anyway I couldn’t find it and then I woke up to Hilight Tribe – Indian Trance playing on the music player.

  
Music : http://jared.serveftp.net:9000/listen.pls
Tv : SNL with Forrest Whitticar
 Posted by at 12:32 am
Jan 142007
 

So today I decided to watch Monty Python and the Holy Grail and my dad called, so I answered. He is trying to burn a DVD. He ended up calling four times needing help. Granted that this is his first time burning a DVD (not burning a movie, using it to move files off his computer), however he is using the same software that he uses to burn a CD and has been using this same software for at least six years. The only difference between burning a CD and a DVD is when you start up the program you choose DVD as apposed to CD and the rest is exactly the same. Still he called me four times for help. I should have let voice mail take the calls, because I didn’t get to enjoy the movie.

Tomorrow I am going to try to wake up early enough to watch the parade in downtown St. Pete. I went last year and it was a lot of fun, so I am going to try to go back again and of course I am going to take a lot of pictures.

Last night I had a really weird dream. It is really weird because I was at this concert thing and there were these people who had fake tickets for the show and I was helping investigate where these fake tickets were coming from. There was this guy who found a pair of these tickets and we were looking closely at them and found the differences of the tickets. We then proceeded to question the people who had the tickets to find out where they got them from. They were cooperative and gave us a number to call. The number went to the leads line at work and we found out that one of the leads was the one who was making the fake tickets and to top it off he was the one who answered the phone. So that mystery was solved. I also remember being in this dark hallway or under the seatd of the concert venue or something like at and asking one of the senior people about advancing with the company and they said that that I wouldn’t advance because of the fact that I wear concert t-shirts like KMFDM to work, and then there was like a sequence of me standing and I could see myself and it showed me wearing the different shirts and stuff. That is about all I can remember of the dream.

I have been thinking about my future here and what I want to do. Currently there is a lead position open for PAC and Pinellas sales and I have been considering applying for those jobs. I don’t think that I can advance any more in this department because of the simple fact that both times that I have tried to apply for supervisor I have been denied going through the interview process both times.

Here are a couple of pictures of my new receiver. More can be found here:
receiver
mess-o-wires

  
Mood : gassygassy
Music : http://jared.serveftp.net:9000/listen.pls
Tv : fooseball Nebraska agains South Dakota.
 Posted by at 7:52 pm
Nov 122006
 

I didn’t fall asleep until after eight am today. I think that it was the Barq’s root beer I had at around ten thirty – eleven pm the night before that did me in. I am so disappointed in the way that caffeine is starting to affect me.

So I woke up around two thirtyish, and I didn’t get anything done today. I did check out the filter head and I think that it isn’t going to fit. I am going to have to look at it a bit more closely when I get home and if it is the wrong part I am going to have to contact them about a replacement. frustrating.

Today I had a dream where I was in the bedroom where I kept on finding different red ear sliders of different sizes and shapes under clothes and stuff and then I would put them in the bathroom so they wouldn’t get out and I kept on finding more and more turtles and it was getting to a point to where I couldn’t keep up with it any more. They were in the bathroom piled up on each other and at first I was being really careful with the turtles, making sure to put them in the bathroom real careful. As the numbers of the turtles popping up increased, then I started being less gentle with them and started tossing them in there to try to keep up with the demand. It was a strange dream indeed.

I just found out that they released the complete series of M*A*S*H November 7th. So many (expensive) goodies coming out. West Wing is out, and M*A*S*H, I wish I had more money. I absolutely love those series, and there is a lot of bonus stuff too, I love bonus stuff.

  
Mood : happycrappy
Music : guesss??
Tv : Star Wars mmm!! Padame!
 Posted by at 10:29 pm
Sep 292006
 

So as I mentioned in my voice post my sister is pregnant yet again…

So she was upset because I didn’t reply back to her email she sent to announce… (it was a picture of her holding a pregnancy test thing with her tummy sticking out…) and I told her I didn’t because I didn’t know what to say. Which I didn’t. I told her that she is doing what a good Mormon woman does and that is pop out kids, but in a nicer way. Even though I said it in a nice way she took it like so that is what you think that mormons do is have babies, and I was like, well yes. Shit they want you to have as many kids as possible so they can be a happy family in their version of heaven forever adn evere and into eternity adn there after.

This morning I had a really weird dream… It is going to be difficult for me to explain it, it is not going to make much sence. I was in New York, I think Upper Manhatten, by the water but I didn’t see it. I think I was with a work group out on an activity or something like that. We were outside on the sidewalk. I remember something about signs being wrong or something and someone in my group stating don’t worry about it we will fix it. We were delayed for some reason with meeting a boat or ship or something and someone mentinoing that it is raining really hard in lower manhatten and that is why they are delayed and i remember thinking to myself that Manhatten must be really big because I don’t see a cloud in the sky. I remmeber that the company was going to feed us and they took us into some Asian restraunt where there was almost nothing for me to eat. I was looking at the menu and feeling really disapointed. I remember wanting to see a couple of items, I can’t remember the first one, but the second one was crawfish!! I wantd to see the crawfish. I remember how red they looked, they were completely peeled like shrimp and I was trying to decide what to get. I woke up shortly after that, and I thought to myself the rest of the day, why would I want to look at crawfish? I found that to be the most oddest thing.

I found out a couple of hours ago about the school in Colorado. It is really sureal sometimes. I have been in Baily a few times before and knew people who lived there. It is only about an hour away from where I spent most of my teen age years.

There are deffinately some things from this site I want! ๐Ÿ™‚

Current Music: http://jared.serveftp.net:9000/listen.pls
  
 Posted by at 12:09 am
Sep 152006
 

Genitorturers – One Who Feeds

Bonded to my breast from birth, milkin me to purify
Nurse your growing hunger for the fluid that will satisfy
Feel my body swelling, engorged to overflow
Pump your filthy mouths into your willing guts below
Shake!
When you’re feeling empty, feeling oh so low
Nurse upon my body, bask in the warm womb glow
Can you feel my body swelling? Engorged to overflow
Pump you filthy mouths into your willing guts below
Now you shake until your master calls you
Shake until your mother bleeds
Shake until the fluid calms you
Till you suckle form the one who feeds
Filling the void inside you, toasty warm it’s oh so nice
Seeking worldly pleasure, mother’s milks not your only vice
Can you feel my body swelling? Engorged to overflow
Pump your filthy mouths into your willing guts below
Now you shake until our master calls you
Shake until your mother bleeds
Shake until the fluid calms you
Still you suckle from the one who feeds
Lying here beside me, take it all from my body
Oh, don’t try to crawl back inside, from where you came

Ok, I am going to try to update. In the last 30 minutes I slammed down a rum and coke with lots of rum and it has hit me pretty fast. probably because I didn’t eat (much) today…

First of all… I forgot my backpack today and so I didn’t have my glasses so I suffered from a headache all day. That reminds me, I need to get my eyes checked again soon. It is weird because at home, my eyes are fine, I can be on the laptop or the pc all day with no headaches, but once I am at work, it is a different story all together if I am not wearing my glasses. I think it is the florecent lights that are doing it to me. That is the only factor that is different.

Ok, I just made some quick and dirty vegan mac and cheese and threw in some vegan ham, it is yummy!

Why is it that turtle nightmares make me wake up? This morning I had a dream of baby turtles in my room crawling on my laundry that were afall aspen leaf yellow. Aspen yellow For those of you that don’t know, baby red ears are a beautiful bright green. So for them to be this color, obviously something is seriously wrong with them. So I took the sicker looking of the two and put it in the bathroom where Speed Racer and Bean Sprout were and then I suddenly woke up. The odd part is when I saw Speed Racer today, the edge of her shell was yellow. I think that is just due to groath. She is deffinately a growing girl.

Anyway, my weekend was pretty unfulfilling. I had a meeting on Wed at work that lasted three hours, and, ya. I accomplished nothing.

Tommorow (or later on today…) I need to get some tea tree oil for my stupid zits and get a new DVD player, and some yeast flakes, and deoderant, and pasta.

I am going to end this now, since all I am doing is rambling…

If you have Showtime you need to be watching Weeds, if you have Showtime on Demand, watch the previous episodes.

Current Music: Colbert Report
  
 Posted by at 3:35 am