Oct 082011

Don’t you hate it when you decide to join as a free member and you get several messages from people “interested in you” but in order to see the messages you have to join, so you pay the $35 or whatever the fuck it was to join and they all turn out to be either scammers or profiles that suddenly don’t exist anymore (I am thinking it was a scam to make me join) So you try it out for a month, the entire month you don’t get any messages from anyone, even the ones you sent messages to, and then your paid membership expires and suddenly you get messages coming in again… It is really fishy to me.

Anyway, it has started to cool off here in Oklahoma, especially at night, so my immune system has suffered and I am sick now. I hate being sick. Especially when it goes into your nose, and it makes you tired and dizzy. Tired and dizzy and tired.

Not much else has been going on. Just work and sleep and still trying to get settled in. I am finally getting to the second bedroom. I was working on getting the bed arranged in the way I wanted until the footboard fell apart, so I had to stop that for the night and put some weldbond on it and let that set, and I haven’t been in there since because of my sickness.

I have been talking again to Mary for a little over a month now, and we are getting along swimmingly. She is such a nice person. Maybe one of these days we can meet again. I would love to go back to DC again.

 Posted by at 11:16 pm
Sep 252011

Ya Ok it has been a while. I really need to get better at this but a lot of time there really isn’t much to say because there isn’t much going on.

I am still (yes still!!) working on getting shit unpacked and stuff. It seems to be a never ending project. I really need to get it done. I did a lot of work last weekend and will probably do more this weekend. I got a lot moved out of the small bedroom. I wish I had help with it. I am so indesive as to where to put things.

I have been contiuing to talk to Mary in email and on the phone. Things seem to be going well and I am enjoying talking to her again. I would realy like to spend some time with her again. I will probably more than likely go back to DC than her coming here. I would love to be able to do both.

So I have http://crazycomputing.net pretty much done. It is now live. I probably need to work on the knowledgebase in the future. I need to get some ideas of questions and answers to put up there. If you have any questions please ask here? Thanks!

I have started to work on getting vegsurf.com put together. I found the backend I think I am going to use. I am going to upload it tonight and see how it works. I think it has everything I need for it. After that I am going to completely revamp carrotjuice.org. What was carrotjuice is going to be on vegsurf, and carrotjuice is going to be a site for juices and smoothies and stuff I think. Most of the hits and questions I get has to do with that anyway, so why not?

I am not sure what to do after that. I am sure that this is a good 6 months of work right here.

It is already starting to get cold here in Oklahoma. I wish I had the heat back. I have a feeling I will be breaking out the heaters soon. I am going to need to buy an electric blanket soon as well. I should do that sometime in the next month. There is a lot of things I need to buy. This damn gas shit is kiling me. $400 a month is a lot of money. I wish I could cut that in half. It would help a lot. I am almost done paying off that stupid shit I need to pay off for the credit thing. That is an extra $135 a month.

Oh, and I want to see Dolphin Tale….

 Posted by at 10:57 pm
Sep 192011

I have spent the last few weeks updating http://crazycomputing.net and I pushed it live a couple of days ago. I saw a couple of formatting issues and spelling mistakes and for the most part got them all corrected. The only issue I am encountering seems to be an IE only issue which I need to figure out how to resolve. Other than that it should be good. I need to probably start working on the knowledge base part of that soon. I think I need to add some google anylinitics code to it as well. I want to get all my sites updated. My next in line is carrotjuice.org. I also have a site called vegsurf.com and I am trying to figure out if I want to move carrotjuice into vegsurf and make carrotjuice something completely different. I am really thinking about doing that since most of the hits from that site seem to be questions about juicing.

I think I mentioned this before but two weeks ago I started talking to Mary again. We are reconnecting and getting to know each other again. In a lot of ways it is like we haven’t stopped talking to each other. It is weird how we have reconnected. This normally doesn’t happen to me. Usually when someone stops talking to me, they stop talking to me. I am enjoying the conversation so far. I am just taking it as it comes.

 Posted by at 12:04 am
Sep 032011


So I forwarded on a funny about an Airline in South Africa and how they don’t’ take themselves very seriously to a bunch of friends in my email list, and on a whim I forwarded it on to a friend I haven’t spoken to in like 5 years. She replied back to it and we have ben emailing back and forth last night and into tonight. We even talked on the phone for a little while. It has been a long time since I have talked to her and it brings back a lot of memories I have had communicating with her. A lot of those old feelings are resurfacing too. I don’t know where this is going, I am really not concerned one way or the other but I am glad to talk to her again, and hopefully we won’t have a falling out again.

 Posted by at 11:08 pm
Dec 302007

So I know I am not writing in this thing as much as I should. I have been busy and lazy at the same time. I need to write more often, especially when I am home.

On Wednesday I had my year end review. It was pretty good. The one thing that I can complain about this company I work for is the fact that their raises suck. You get a raise once a year and the most you can get is 5%. My raises have always been 3%, and it normally only covers the amount that my rent goes up every year. Fucking bullshit. The raise doesn’t really do much for me after Uncle Sam and 401(k) gets to it. It is an increase of a little over $1000 a year. The good thing that came out of it is that I am going to start to learn the supervisor duties and be more active in that kind of stuff. Hopefully that becomes true. I would love to have that kind of experience.

On Friday I was going to go to Busch Gardens but I woke up too late to do so, and it would have been a perfect day for it, it was nice and warm out. I decided not to waste the day away so I finally left out the house and I headed on down to Caribbean Cafe and had a sandwich and then went to Rolling Oats and picked up a few things there. I probably should have spent some time at a park, but I didn’t. I took a few pictures of my outing, I didn’t upload them yet, I will later on.

Around 8pm I got a call from Georgia and her mom was having internet problems so I went to her mom’s house and got that all fixed. She said she called Bright House and they blamed the encryption key. The networks were bridged and also I uninstalled and reinstalled the wireless dongle and that fixed the connection. He blamed it on not knowing the key. Anyway, it was easy work and I made $40 and a few lbs of Panamanian Coffee out of it (really good coffee too! Drinking it now).

It was really nice to see Georgia and her family again. She is looking really good and her youngest is getting really big. Her mom’s youngest is getting really big too. He has grown two feet since I have seen him last.

Tonight I am working an overnight shift. I worked it out with the overnight guy but for some reason that wasn’t communicated to the guy who makes the schedules, so everyone thought I was coming in at 4pm. I got a few phone calls on my cell, which I had my ringer off so I could sleep to prepare for the shift. So tomorrow I am coming in at 4pm. Fun fun.

I think that Mary is pregnant. I have her on my wish list on Amazon and she is a friend on Netflix and she has a few pregnancy books and movies on her want list and queued up. I hope that she is happy. I hope her man makes her happy.

I am so ready to go home now…

Current Music: http://jared.serveftp.net:9000/listen.pls
 Posted by at 4:30 am
Jan 092007

I am working an overnight shift tonight. The overnight lead had some stuff come up and so I am working for him. I am supposed to work 11-8 but I came in at 9 for a couple of hours of overtime. Today and tomorrow have been wasted, I spent today sleeping to stay awake for tonight, and tomorrow I will be sleeping to sleep.

Carrot Juice was hacked again, and not just the forums, there was a couple of other parts that was hacked as well. So, I am closing the site down, and I am going to upgrade to the latest PHPnuke and get everything back in order. I am going to probably rebuild from scratch, so it will not be the same. I am performing the back ups now, so I can then make it look reasonably close to the back up, and hopefully back up some of the links and articles and stuff.

I am feeling kind of depressed about things. Mary has really cut our communication down to something resembling an acquaintance than a friend. Our communication has gone from emailing each other many times a day with a thread or two going on to her deciding to answer maybe one of my emails, and send me something short and quick every four or five days or so. I have sent her an email asking her about something and she has chosen to ignore it completely. It was a question and not a statement. I sent it four days ago, and I sent it again tonight when she was online and I also sent her an IM and no response. I guess she is too busy with work and her boyfriend to be my friend. I feel pretty shitty and like something is dying inside of me. I don’t know what to do. I feel like the friendship isn’t there any more and no matter how much effort I have put into it, that she is just pushing me further and further away from her life. It is pretty depressing. I thought that there was something there with her, but I guess not. She is just like the others, just a passing being. In and out of my life. I need to stop thinking about it. I don’t want to cry at work. Earth Mother, turtle spirits, what should I do? Why am I destined to have this kind of life? Why do people do this to me? Give me strength to move on. Give me the courage.

The Cure – Pictures of you

I’ve been looking so long at these pictures of
you that i almost believe that they’re real I’ve
been living so long with my pictures of you that
i almost believe that the pictures are all i can

remembering you standing quiet in the rain as
i ran to your heart to be near and we kissed as
the sky fell in holding you close how i always
held close in your fear remembering you
running soft through the night you were bigger
and brighter than the snow and
screamed at the make-believe screamed at the
sky and you finally found all your courage to
let it all go

remembering you fallen into my arms crying
for the death of your heart you were stone
white so delicate lost in the cold you were
always so lost in the dark remembering you
how you used to be slow drowned you were
angels so much more than everything oh hold
for the last time then slip away quietly open
my eyes but i never see anything

if only i had thought of the right words i could
have hold on to your heart if only I’d thought of
the right words i wouldn’t be breaking apart all
my pictures of you

Looking So long at these pictures of you but i
never hold on to your heart looking so long for
the words to be true but always just breaking
apart my pictures of you

there was nothing in the world that i ever
wanted more than to feel you deep in my heart
there was nothing in the world that i ever
wanted more than to never feel the breaking
apart all my pictures of you

Mood : happydepressed
Music :  Lords of Acid - Rubber Doll Mixterpieces:b. My, But You're A Fine One(mix)
 Posted by at 1:15 am
Jan 042007

“We’ve heard that a million monkeys at a million keyboards could produce the complete works of Shakespeare; now, thanks to the Internet, we know that is not true.”
– Robert Wilensky

My weekend was another one of nothing to show for it except for dishes and a batch of laundry. I pretty much wasted both days away by sleeping. I did get my car stickers finally on Wednesday and I am going to apply them tomorrow before I leave to go grocery shopping.

I was just downstairs in the lunch room and there was this article in Details magazine I wanted to read, and I had to go in 52 pages through nothing but advertising just to get to the table of contents. I was really amazed that someone would pay $3.95 for a 400 page book of advertising. The book probably had about ten or twenty pages of actual content.

Jan 3 marked a year that I have known Mary. It is nice that she is still in my life, I appreciate her so much. I wish we lived closer so we could actually hang out without much planning and hassle.

Today I went up to Target to get some TP (They didn’t have the kind I like, but I was running short so I picked up the closest thing to it. I like the Charmin kind with the lotion and aloe, it helps with the chafing. While I was there I picked up a shredder and envelopes and fruit and some boca patties and gardenburger ribs. I had to make it quick since I made it out of the house late. Anyway, I forgot the ribs and patties somehow and was a bit disappointed that I left them in the store. I didn’t find this out until after I got home, and realised that I didn’t put them away. On the way home I stopped by Michael’s looking for a 7 day candle and I came up empty handed. I have looked in several places looking for one, and so far all I can find is online and shipping is expensive.

Today I bought the ONKYO HTS590S receiver with 5.1 surround sound. I got a really good deal on it. When I first saw it on Amazon it was $260. Over the last couple of months they have raised it and now they are listing it at $300. I did some digging around and I found it on Frys.com for $200. The only other price that was close to $200 was a refurb for $180. Shipping is going to cost me $26. All together I am paying $225.53. I am really excited. I can’t wait to get it and hook it all up. Last time I had surround sound was in the late nineties, and I didn’t even have the right equipment to properly deliver it unless it was going through cable. I think I am going to put the subwoofer underneath the futon so I can feel the explosions. Wee!

I am getting mother fucking snakes on a mother fucking plane today through Netflix! Woo hoo!!!

Mood : happydorky
Music : http://jared.serveftp.net:9000/listen.pls
 Posted by at 11:21 pm
Dec 262006

So after work I fell asleep at around 4 am and then was woken up around 6. I don’t know why, but I was awake for a while. When I finally settled down and went back to sleep I was having some really weird dreams. I don’t remember them exactly, so I am not going to attempt to recall them just because of the fact that I don’t even have a way to explain them. I was woken up by the last one, and it was noon, so I decided to get up and start the day.

I got up and decided to open my presents. I should have lit my mistletoe, but it ended up being something that I didn’t think to do until after the fact. I got a neck massager from my mom and a vegetable chopper, salad spinner all in one thing from my youngest sister. The neck massager thingie was really nice, I can’t wait to get home and get it a going again.

I got to talk to Wendy (my youngest sister) and my grandma and dad today. They all liked their gifts. I can really tell my grandma is starting to lose it. She asked me how much time a year I have for vacation, and not more than five minutes later she asked me the same question again. I really need to try to make it back to Oklahoma before she dies or loses her brain function all together.

Today there was a marathon for American Chopper and Mythbusters and I was switching between the two in between calls, and before I knew it I had to get ready for work. Today has been really slow and I was playing Monopoly and Spades with the other leads and the sup that was here tonight. It is pretty nice to be paid double time and a half to do nothing.

I am really tired, I just want to go home and go to sleep gosh darned it. I am glad today is Friday.

While I was playing spades Mary called, and when one of the leads went home and we were done I called Mary back and talked to her for a while and she liked my gift and same with her daddy and she had a good Christmas too. I miss her. I miss her lots.

I have been trying to recall the places I was at whilst in DC and I am having some difficulties remembering where I was at when Mary and I went to the hardware store and then went to a couple of places after words, I remember I was looking for allergy medicine I think and we stopped at a couple of places, one place we had a sandwich or smoothies or something and it was a really small place and I remember my backpack being in the way or something. I think it was around the Dupont Circle or something. I am going to have to get out my DC box and look through it to see if I have any receipts. It is frustrating because the entire week was a whirlwind anyway, and I am lucky to remember any of it, time went by so fast and we did so much whilst I was there.

Mood : happybored
Music : Los Warahuaco / La Tuna
Tv : American Chopper
 Posted by at 1:15 am
Dec 052006

Ya, I know I am not updating this thing as often as I usually do. I guess that is what I get for being sick and being on vacation and being lazy while I am at home. Also when I am at work, I am sitting up and in front of the computer and usually bored, so I write. Being at work seems to be a perfect time to do it anyway.

Anyway, Saturday was the employee holiday party, and it was at the Hilton Carillon, and they had it in a big banquet room with lots of tables. I didn’t take that many pictures while I was there and the ones I took came out looking like shit so I didn’t bother even posting them. I tried to get some money out of the bank to pay for drinks and I was greeted with the insufficient funds error when I tried to withdraw. So I was there at a party with a bar and only two drink tickets and $2 to my name. Luckily a friend let me borrow $20 so I appreciated that. I was also given another three drink tickets for a total of five so I ended up drinking seven stiff run and cokes through the night. It was a good thing. I had a decent time. They had gambling tables there, and I don’t gamble, and the company gave us 5000 “dollars” to play gamble it with, and I ended up having beginners luck and wining the first hand but every hand there after I lost or folded so I suck. There were a lot of interracial couples there which made me happy, and I don’t remember if I told you this or not, but there is a guy at work who is black and is dating a white guy and so I got to meet his boyfriend and he was dressed really cool. I can’t explain it, but it was almost something regal out of star wars or something.

Anyway, I spent Sunday sleeping because Saturday night just like the nights before, every time I tried to fall asleep I would wake up to coughing fits. I am feeling a lot better and I slept better for the most part last night. I think I only woke up once or twice with the fits.

I really have been stressed out over the money situation. I have been wrestling with it especially this weekend. Between not having enough money for rent and having to play catch up with the bills that didn’t’ get paid and not having money for the drinks and then Sunday morning seeing that the Netflix didn’t get paid I was trying to figure out how long it would take to get out of this mess and seeing that this next check and the check after are going to rent and then figuring out I will have less than $600 to pay the rest of my bills for this month and stuff. I knew I was in deep shit, and I knew it. I got a mail from my bank stating I needed a positive balance and I was starting to get calls from the Miami area code so I knew that they were trying to call me too. So I decided late last night after waking up to a coughing spiel that I needed to get a loan and the only thing I own that is worth anything is my car. So today I went to the company who financed my car and was able to get a loan for $2600. I have an 18 month loan for $200 payments. So now I have $800 in the bank, rent is paid, netflix is paid and I get paid on Thursday. With that I should be ahead of the game. Now I need to try to concentrate and keep ahead of it and pay this loan off early. I am going to try to pay the thing off early. I figure if I pay $300 a month I can get it paid off in a year. So this is going to get me back in shape and give me a bit of extra money to buy a present or two for a few people.

Anyway, that is what has been happening in my life. I have really stepped a few paces back with my interactions with Mary. It hurts really bad to not to be able to talk to her everyday but that is what she wants, at least by the impression she gives me. She hardly ever writes anymore and she doesn’t tell me what is going on in her life anymore so. I am getting a bit tired and frustrated in trying so hard to keep things together and seeing her push herself further and further away from me. Why do my friendships always end up this way? I am so pathetic.

Tonight the directors cut of Amadeus was on one of the HD movie channels. It was beautiful. I love that movie.

Mood : happytired
Tv : The annoying Rachel Ray but she is doing Denver soo...
 Posted by at 1:03 am