Jun 092010

So I am now 85. Weee!! Riiight. For my birthday I bought myself a 48 port Zyxel managed switch. My mom gave me $20 and a guilt trip involving her god and how she prays I will understand it loves me. And she wonders why I don’t like communicating with her and am so distant. Every time she pulls that shit it tears me further apart from her. Oh, and Carol bought my movie ticket to Shrek the third. Wait until it goes out on DVD and rent it. So except for the switch which I will get tomorrow, my birthday was pretty much a bust. I don’t think Tammy even knew it was my birthday. She hasn’t said anything to me about it and I talked to her yesterday and today. I am not worried about it. It is just another day anymore, so ya.

I found a 18U server cabinet for less than $300 and free shipping

server rack Kendall Howard 3140-3-001-18 ($264 free shipping)

This is what I am planning for my rack.

fan bay 2u?
patch panel 2U
cable management 2u
switch = 1U
power strip? 1U
disk station = 4U
vented shelf for disc station
fan bay 2u?

The fans I am not sure about. Partly because what I am finding are expensive. I think I am just going to take a couple of vented shelfs and add fans to them.

Anyway, that is my plan. I should get my switch tomorrow. So my first goal is going to be getting that on my network. Which will be fun since I am going to probably need to move out equipment and stuff to get to wiring. Ugh.

Mood : happyblah
Music : Hüsker Dü - Standing In The Rain
Tv : Rachel Maddow
 Posted by at 9:00 pm
May 012010

During the 11 years that I was a cook I have worked with a lot of people from many different countries. Latins, Malaysians, Europeans, and more. They all were good people just trying to feed their families and make it in the world. I don’t know what their immigration status was, and I really don’t and didn’t care. From my American history classes I remember studying about people who came to the US from all over coming here because it was the land of opportunity, it was the land of the free. If you worked hard you could live the American dream. It seams that over time we have forgotten about this and a lot of people don’t want people from other countries to come here. The government has made it harder for people to come here, and people are afraid that immigrants “will take their jobs” even though most of the people who come here work jobs that most U.S. citizens will not do their selves or are not qualified or educated enough to do. It is pretty sickening. It reminds me of the movie “A Day Without a Mexican” where people woke up one day and all the latin workers disappeared. It caused chaos and put things to a halt. Yes, I understand the need to lock our borders down. However I think part of ensuring national security is opening the borders to allow more people to move here, to at least work here and work on becoming citizens if that is what they want to do. They can pay taxes and as long as they have been veted with a background check then they can be here. There are good people coming here to provide for their families who are good people. Let them come. Lets make it so the people who come here illegally are the kind of people who the police would want to stop. The criminals, the terrorists. That is how it should work. We are wasting too many resources criminalizing people who just want a piece of the American dream. Oh, we need to stop the war on drugs too. We need to make them tax revenues, not tax burdens. But that is a different debate all together.

Last night I installed Ubuntu 10.04 LTS on Lappy. So far so good. Everything installed nicely. I am going to try to use it primarily on the laptop to see how it works and stuff. I still need to import stuff over from Win 7 and get some things installed and up and running, but so far so good with the little bit I used it today.

Kim comes in three days. Should be fun!

Mood : happycalm
Music : Jesus and Mary Chain
Tv : CNN
 Posted by at 6:55 pm
Jan 122010

Yesterday when I was going down to Carol’s house I noticed that my driver side mirror was not right, so I tried to adjust it, and it didn’t adjust quite to my liking so I didn’t think much of it. Fine, whatever I will keep on driving. Well I got on the highway and I then noticed little flashing on the left hand side. The mirror was vibrating and it was broken. Shit. Some asshole broke my mirror off. When I got to Carol’s house I looked at it closer and it was broken all teh way. Only thing holding on to it was the cables that is used to adjust it. So I got it fit on as best I could and then called the dealership to see if the warentee covered it. Nope. But for ~$200 they would replace it. I told them I would think about it and call them back. I am glad I decided to not commit because it looks like it might actually be an easy repair job. The part is less than $50 online including shipping. All I need to do is pop the besel off surrounding the adjustment knob, then there will be 3 screws. Remove the screws and the mirror comes right off. Put the new one on, replace the screws, and I am all set. Hopefully. Fucker.

Another weekend went by way too fast. Why do they go by so fast while the week drags on? It has been way too cold in Florida. The other day I woke up and it was 32 degrees. I think I need to move further south. Like Equador or something.

My dad wants me to move back to Oklahoma. Help him on the farm. Grandma doesn’t have much time left and she doesn’t even know who he is anymore. It is pretty sad. I wish I was there with him to help him. It is really hard to live there though. I don’t know what to do, or if there is anything for me to do there. I have thought about going back to school and taking some web page design classes. That way I can be anywhere and be able to work, since it will be more virtual anyway.

I am also maybe toying with the idea of setting up a brick and morter computer shop, it would be cool to put it in my grandpa’s old hardware store. I could call it Stan-Way computers or something. Anyway just dreams right now. I don’t know. Oklahoma is just so blah and rednecky and not close to the beach. And it gets cold and so behind in the times. But the farm is there. So tough. I don’t know what to do.

Current Music: Prince - Dear Mr.Man
Mood : happycontemplative
Music : Prince - Dear Mr.Man
Tv : Bay News 9
 Posted by at 10:45 pm
Jan 242009

It has been so long. Way too long. I fucking suck.

It was a great day in history on Tuesday when Obama got sworn in. I wish the actual swearing in part didn’t get fucked up. Any reason for the republican party to delegitimize Obama will cause bullshit quarrels over non issues. Limbaugh has already said he wants Obama to fail. I don’t think he could fail as much as bush did no matter how hard he tried. Bush spent 34% of his time on vacation. I wish I could do that. Obama seems to be on a good track so far. We will see. It was amazing how many people showed up for it. 1.8 million and that is because they couldn’t handle any more on the lawn. Imagine how many people were outside or elsewhere.

I took the day off to watch the inaugural. It was great watching it on HD. After I went to Carol’s and then went out and celebrated with her and one of her friends. We drove around several places looking for someplace to eat and finally decided on Thai.

On Wed we went over to Carol’s Friends house and watched the top chef show and we ate at carrabas, which really sucked. Yesterday was just a lazy do nothing stay inside because it is too fucking cold day.

Today was a I shouldn’t have gone in to work because it fucking sucked and I am reminded why people fucking suck day. I told a sub I couldn’t get anyone out any sooner for them two months ago and they decided recently to complain about it. Well I got written up for it and they didn’t like the comments I put in the account either because they were too emotional or something so they made me remove them as well. Fucking shit. I get yelled at for doing my job, I am here to make decisions and I get fucked for making them. I have no support from management, none at all. Anytime I get something written about me that goes to office of president I get yelled at about it whether it was following policy or not and no one has my back in this fucking place. I am so fucking sick of it. It isn’t right. It isn’t right at all. I am here to do a job and it feels like dammed if I do or dammed if I don’t. If I would have tried to get someone out earlier for her I would have been yelled at for that as well. I don’t know what to do except try to not get people to complain about me, which is impossible to do since it is going to happen in the position that I am in. I fucking hate people. Fucking assholes.

My brain feels like it is going to explode because of this shit.

Oh and to top it off, I thought I met someone new. We had lunch last Friday? Were supposed to meet up at the garden on Tue for the inauguration, find out she had too much paperwork to do at work and couldn’t make it, and we were supposed to also go out on Thursday, on Wed she let me know that she had other plans she forgot about. I can understand. Well today I messaged her to see how she was doing and nothing. No reply. So now I don’t know what to think.

I am a fucking loser nobody I guess.

Oh and to top it off I let this domain expire, and had to pay another year and wait for it to complete the renewal. At least it expired today and no one grabbed it…

Mood : happydepressed
Music : Godflesh
Tv : How it's made
 Posted by at 12:25 am
Jan 032009

New years eve I slept most of the day. I couldn’t decide what I wanted to do so I ended up going to Chilis, eating a black bean burger (so yum!) and drinking a couple of beers. As I was sitting there in the booth by my self I felt really sad and depressed. There I was the only asshole in the place by myself. Every one else was surrounded by friends, family, and loved ones. I felt pretty worthless. I can usually carry on with my life feeling 1/2 way ok about being a loner, but for some reason last night got to me. I don’t know why. I felt like I was in the middle of MC 900 ft Jesus’ New Years Eve song. I then wanted some chocolate to finish off the night and some more beer so I went to Publix and they had closed early. So I decided fuck it and just went home to be a loser and watch TV.

Jan 1 I hung out with Carol and Oliver and his sister. We went and saw Bedtime Stories which was actually pretty good for a Disney flick. It is hard to describe the movie without explaining it all. Netflix’s description is wrong, Imdb is too short and I am too lazy to explain.

Today was the day of throwing away a lot of money (paying rent) and going grocery shopping. It seemed like there were a lot more people out and not enough people to take the demand. Two people at the bank to handle the inside and drive through. Two people at CompUSA manning the registers, one only taking credit and debit, not very many people at Target. Only one person at Amscot and a lot of people waiting there. Oh and when I walked out of Amscot I tripped and fell and twisted my ankle and it has been hurting all day today too. So it has been a great day for me today.

I haven’t been getting the sleep I have needed either. Less than 4 hours of sleep every night the last few days. I thought I could get home in time today to nap before work, and it was too close to do so. I am going to go home, drink a bit of rum and fall right asleep. I am so ready to now.

Mood : happysleepy
Music : http://jared.serveftp.net:9000/listen.pls
Tv : How It's Made
 Posted by at 12:43 am
Dec 232008

Today was pure hell and I really should have stayed home, but instead I decided to go out because I needed new shoes. The shoes I had I noticed the sole was about to come off, and so it was time to get some new ones. I have been getting the $15 shoes at Target and so that is what I wanted to get again. I went to the bank and got money and then drove to the Target on Gulf to Bay and 19. Well they didn’t have any under a size 9, a full size above my shoe size. (I have small feet, so shoot me…). So I got the hell out of there. So I then drove to the one on 19 and Park, the smallest they had was 8 1/2. I almost grabbed them and decided fuck it, but I decided to go to Target # 3. Now mind you this is dealing with the cows 2 days before xmas, with their shitty driving and crowding the stores. When I was getting out of the parking lot the lady in front of me had at least 5 good open chances in getting out into the main street but decided to be a cunt and wait until the light changed. She really pissed me off. I am still pissed about it. So I fight heavy traffic on Park and then on Seminole, then fight the assholes getting into the shopping area, find the shoes and look and look, and again nothing in my size. I decide to fuck it, get an 8 1/2, pay and leave. I got home about an hour before I had to go to work, so I ate real fast, started burning a Netflix movie and opened the card from my youngest sister. It was another of those typical Mormon family pictures, if you have seen them then you know what I am talking about. You can spot them a mile away.

Mood : happycold
Music : Govinda - City of Pleasures
 Posted by at 7:32 pm
Nov 232008

I am sure that all of you have seen the wonderful turkey pardoning and then murdering oh it is ok interview that Sarah Palin the wonderful wanna be republican leader. Well I have been thinking about it. I think that she totally set up the entire thing and knew the news media would be talking about it for a couple of cycles. I think that she deep down is an attention seeker and has found another way to do it. You have to remember that this is someone who was a beauty pageant second placer, and then a sports caster for a while. I don’t think that those worked out for her so her next step was politics and has been slowly working up her way into the ladder. She has been seeking this vice president gig for a year or so now and now that she has lost she is still seeking out that attention she so desperately needs. I saw it with my step brother. He craved attention good or bad. He went so far as to try to start a grocery store on fire and limping into a fast food restaurant saying he was hit by a car only to leave before the paramedics and cops showed up.

The most disturbing part about the video is the fact that they are murdering these turkeys right in front of other live turkeys. I think it is torture. Imagine being in a cage with hundreds of other people and watching your fellow beings being beheaded and bleed out. Now you have to understand that even though I am vegan I am not squeamish. I was a chef for 11 years and part of my training was going to a lamb and cow slaughterhouse, so I have seen it all, and I know how animals are murdered for food.

I am feeling a little bit better emotionally. I am still a bit down. Still worried about money. Still frustrated over asshole customers. People demanding things that we just can’t do and then threatening to go to my supervisors supervisor because I can’t meet their asshole demands. So frustrating. So very frustrating.

Mood : happygrumpy
Music : Weird Al videos on youtube
 Posted by at 12:23 am
Nov 102008


Special Comment: The Passage of Prop 8
Posted: Monday, November 10, 2008 9:01 PM by Countdown
Filed Under: Special Comment

Finally tonight as promised, a Special Comment on the passage, last week, of Proposition Eight in California, which rescinded the right of same-sex couples to marry, and tilted the balance on this issue, from coast to coast.

Some parameters, as preface. This isn’t about yelling, and this isn’t about politics, and this isn’t really just about Prop-8. And I don’t have a personal investment in this: I’m not gay, I had to strain to think of one member of even my very extended family who is, I have no personal stories of close friends or colleagues fighting the prejudice that still pervades their lives.

And yet to me this vote is horrible. Horrible. Because this isn’t about yelling, and this isn’t about politics.

This is about the… human heart, and if that sounds corny, so be it.

If you voted for this Proposition or support those who did or the sentiment they expressed, I have some questions, because, truly, I do not… understand. Why does this matter to you? What is it to you? In a time of impermanence and fly-by-night relationships, these people over here want the same chance at permanence and happiness that is your option. They don’t want to deny you yours. They don’t want to take anything away from you. They want what you want — a chance to be a little less alone in the world.

Only now you are saying to them — no. You can’t have it on these terms. Maybe something similar. If they behave. If they don’t cause too much trouble. You’ll even give them all the same legal rights — even as you’re taking away the legal right, which they already had. A world around them, still anchored in love and marriage, and you are saying, no, you can’t marry. What if somebody passed a law that said you couldn’t marry?

I keep hearing this term “re-defining” marriage.

If this country hadn’t re-defined marriage, black people still couldn’t marry white people. Sixteen states had laws on the books which made that illegal… in 1967. 1967.

The parents of the President-Elect of the United States couldn’t have married in nearly one third of the states of the country their son grew up to lead. But it’s worse than that. If this country had not “re-defined” marriage, some black people still couldn’t marry…black people. It is one of the most overlooked and cruelest parts of our sad story of slavery. Marriages were not legally recognized, if the people were slaves. Since slaves were property, they could not legally be husband and wife, or mother and child. Their marriage vows were different: not “Until Death, Do You Part,” but “Until Death or Distance, Do You Part.” Marriages among slaves were not legally recognized.

You know, just like marriages today in California are not legally recognized, if the people are… gay.

And uncountable in our history are the number of men and women, forced by society into marrying the opposite sex, in sham marriages, or marriages of convenience, or just marriages of not knowing — centuries of men and women who have lived their lives in shame and unhappiness, and who have, through a lie to themselves or others, broken countless other lives, of spouses and children… All because we said a man couldn’t marry another man, or a woman couldn’t marry another woman. The sanctity of marriage. How many marriages like that have there been and how on earth do they increase the “sanctity” of marriage rather than render the term, meaningless?

What is this, to you? Nobody is asking you to embrace their expression of love. But don’t you, as human beings, have to embrace… that love? The world is barren enough.

It is stacked against love, and against hope, and against those very few and precious emotions that enable us to go forward. Your marriage only stands a 50-50 chance of lasting, no matter how much you feel and how hard you work.

And here are people overjoyed at the prospect of just that chance, and that work, just for the hope of having that feeling. With so much hate in the world, with so much meaningless division, and people pitted against people for no good reason, this is what your religion tells you to do? With your experience of life and this world and all its sadnesses, this is what your conscience tells you to do?

With your knowledge that life, with endless vigor, seems to tilt the playing field on which we all live, in favor of unhappiness and hate… this is what your heart tells you to do? You want to sanctify marriage? You want to honor your God and the universal love you believe he represents? Then Spread happiness — this tiny, symbolic, semantical grain of happiness — share it with all those who seek it. Quote me anything from your religious leader or book of choice telling you to stand against this. And then tell me how you can believe both that statement and another statement, another one which reads only “do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

You are asked now, by your country, and perhaps by your creator, to stand on one side or another. You are asked now to stand, not on a question of politics, not on a question of religion, not on a question of gay or straight. You are asked now to stand, on a question of…love. All you need do is stand, and let the tiny ember of love meet its own fate. You don’t have to help it, you don’t have it applaud it, you don’t have to fight for it. Just don’t put it out. Just don’t extinguish it. Because while it may at first look like that love is between two people you don’t know and you don’t understand and maybe you don’t even want to know…It is, in fact, the ember of your love, for your fellow **person…

Just because this is the only world we have. And the other guy counts, too.

This is the second time in ten days I find myself concluding by turning to, of all things, the closing plea for mercy by Clarence Darrow in a murder trial.

But what he said, fits what is really at the heart of this:

“I was reading last night of the aspiration of the old Persian poet, Omar-Khayyam,” he told the judge.

“It appealed to me as the highest that I can vision. I wish it was in my heart, and I wish it was in the hearts of all:

“So I be written in the Book of Love;

“I do not care about that Book above.

“Erase my name, or write it as you will,

“So I be written in the Book of Love.”

Good night, and good luck.

Mood : sicksick
Tv : Countdown
 Posted by at 10:18 pm
Nov 082008


What can I say?

I got this!

I got this!

Obama won, and he won with a mandate! This country is moving more left, which is a good thing. Being under the rule of the neo-cons for so long has done nothing but damaged this country and her reputation. The country spoke, the world spoke. We are going to earn our reputation back.

The below map shows what counties shifted more democrat over the last election. It is a true indicator that the country as a whole is progressing. There are only a few areas that were redder, which are the hillbilly hick parts of the nation and are to be expected anyway.

It is a blue world after all!

It is a blue world after all!

Obama definitely got the Latin and the black vote out, by the failures of the bigot amendments in California, Arizona, and Florida you can tell that. The black and Latin vote tends to be a lot more conservative when it comes to that kind of things but progressive when it comes to other issues. This is again a general observation. I think that this is a step in the right direction with a mutt for a president (His words, not mine). It will take time.

I am fighting with my mom and younger sister over this. What the Mormon church has done is wrong, it isn’t their place. It isn’t like there are gay men in sets of two knocking on people’s doors and trying to convert people to gayism or anything.

In other news I am completely fucked. I went to the bank today to get money to pay bills and the bank decided to take my money, apply it to the overdraft, and then close my account. So I am fucked for a bit. I ended up having to take out some money out of my 401(k) to be able to pay for the bills I need to pay. I then killed direct deposit to my now extinct checking account and applied it all to my savings. Hopefully it all goes to savings this next check. I have rent to pay.

Anyway, I think I will be fine, but I don’t know how I am going to get gas money between now and when the check clears. Also I have a concert I was going to go to on Monday, looks like I won’t be going to that. It sucks because the ticket is already bought but I don’t have the money to pay for the ticket.

On a brighter note the company gave out the $25 gift certificates to Publix, so at least I can get food and TP.

Mood : sicksick
Music : http://jared.serveftp.net:9000
 Posted by at 1:41 am
Nov 012008

On Wednesday I went to see Bill Clinton and Barack Obama in
Kissimmee, FL. The event didn’t start until 11pm. For something that started so late on a work and school night 35,000 people showed up for it. Before they showed up for their talks there were a few speakers before hand. One of them being Jimmy Smits.

Jimmy was really good because he motivated the Latin crowd and he said that he based his West Wing character Matthew Santos on a not very known Illinois senator named Barack Obama. He even said that Santos isn’t here right now but if he was he would say this, and also used some lines from The West Wing as well. It was pretty cool!!

Bill and Barack were great! It was great for Bill to talk about the presidential decisions that Barack has already made with picking Biden and the economic crisis. He gave a little anecdote about it, which has been all over the news.

Every single fucking call I have gotten after my lunch has been stupid questions where the answer to them are very easily accessible in a database we created for them to look up the answers themselves.

Mood : annoyedannoyed
Tv : Countdown
 Posted by at 12:40 am