Mar 072016
 

So right now my main computer is down. I bought an all in one cooler for it and despite doing a bunch of research to make sure it would fit, it doesn’t. I spent $100 on it, so it isn’t like I want to return it. The radiator is too small, and the holes don’t’ match up. So I am working on making brackets to attach to the case and to the radiator. Been working on drilling holes and stuff to make it fit. I need to get back up soon. I have videos that I need to edit and other tasks that only it can handle. Hopefully I can get it all back up soon. It has been down for way too long now. I might take pictures of the box later.

There is so much that I want to put down in paper, but I don’t give myself enough time to be able to do so. So much that I need to let out, to see in black and white. I need to start dictating it to my phone and let google do the hard work I guess.

Yesterday I talked about my diet problems. I am trying to get a hold on this. Today I ate my normal breakfast of half a demibaguette toasted with shredded tomato, avocado, olive oil and sea salt. I also had coffee with chocolate soy milk, and a banana Lunch was some dal and potato curry I made myself, I also had 10 peanut butter crackers, A salad with organic sugar free dressing, a lemon lime sparkling water and a coke zero. Once I am done with this pack of coke I need to stop buying it. I know the artificial sweetener is hurting. Breakfast usually doesn’t change much, sometimes I have fruit, but not usually. I used to be really good in eating fruit, I need to get back into eating much more fruit, and nuts as well. That might be another part of my problem.

Current Music: The Young Turks
  
Mood : happytired
Music : The Young Turks
Mar 052016
 

I really need to get off of my sugar addiction. I have been trying to lose weight for a couple years now. At my lowest was in 2015 I weighed 199 lbs. When I started I was 235. I am around there again now (I haven’t weighed myself in 2 weeks). I am afraid I might even be more. The sugar has me. I can’t eat just one portion, can’t eat just one cookie. I need to start buying fruit and not sweets when I have those grocery store runs. I want to be 135 again. Why can’t I control my urges? I am fucking way the fuck out of control. I bought 4 boxes of thin mints last week, all gone by The. I will eat a box of ice cream sandwiches, a pint of ice cream, I will eat 3 packages of pop tarts in one day. I have to stop bringing money to work, have to stop this.

I don’t know how much I will write about my diet, but I really need to lose weight and I think it is necessary for me to put it on paper, if I dare call myself out on this shit. That is the problem, denial, guilt, needing to change, but not actually changing. Putting it off, saying I will start tomorrow, next week, no next week, and then it is two months and 10 lbs later.

I have a fitbit and mostly log my foods on myfitnesspal. I need to be a lot more honest in my logging though. I am only hurting myself otherwise.

Current Music: twit.tv
  
Mood : happydetermined
Music : twit.tv