Jan 172024

So ya. I am sick. got a stupid cold. Of course I am working, can’t miss any money even though I have sick time. I get a bit more for working nights, and today is holiday pay so I can’t miss that extra bit of money.

I went to the optometrist on Wed, I got my subscription updated and got new glasses. It is about time, the last glasses I got the nose things broke off and have been using them that way for way too long and my astigitism has gotten a bit worse especially in my right eye so there is that. New glasses in a week or so. It is also a good thing because the glasses I have now are all scratched up as well.

 Posted by at 10:10 pm
Dec 262023
under construction

So as you know it has been a while since I have used this blog… A lot of outdated plugins, links, etc. Working on updating all that stuff so this site might be having random issues and errors for a while.

under construction
under construction
Dec 262023

I also don’t know if I posted this or not but I also found my birth mother. I have to tell the whole story but that was the TL:DR version of it.

Back in 2018 I decided to do the 23andme thing because I am getting old and was wanting to find out if I had any genetic anything health wise. Also I don’t remember when but probably around this time the state I was born in allowed direct relatives like me to request a copy of their original birth certificate which I had done as well, so I had my birth mother’s name and the other details they put on birth certificates. Well fast forward to 2021, I get a message from a cousin stating that she knows who my mom is, and a few months after that I get a message from my birth mother. I was at the time not really ready for it, I mean I was ready, it was something I have always wanted to find out from the time I was a young child, but to have it finally happen? I had to take a couple of weeks to process it all and tell myself that this is real. Her name matched what was on the birth certificate, genetically she was my mother, it all matched up, it wasn’t a scam. Her message included her story of it all including details that made it all even more true.

Now comes another shocker of all shockers. As you know I live in Florida. I came down here in 2002 because a girl convinced me to move down here to be with me (another story I won’t go into details now). I lived here for 9 years before my adoptive father convinced me to move back to Oklahoma to help him which I did for 8 years then moved back to Oklahoma. I did the genetic thing still living in Oklahoma and in between time moved to Florida. Anyway so back to the shocker of shockers. I was born in Denver. Now here I am in the Tampa area, my birth mother reaches out to me, and come to find out she has spent most of her life in this area and she lives like 35 miles away from me. There is a reason why I am here. Why I gravitated to this area. So yes we talk a lot and we have met and hung out over the last couple of years. I need to spend more time with her, I just wish she was closer.

So crazy right?

Apparently she never kept my birth a secret and everyone on her side of the family knew I was out there so my sudden appearance was not a shocker to anyone.

Anyway as of my birth father, I have had a couple of people reach out to me including a crazy who was questioning my claim to the genetics because I guess she is a part of the daughters of the revolution or something, thinking I was trying to infultrate it or something not understanding how genetics work and that genes don’t lie. I really need to get back on the website and start reaching out to people so I can find out more info on that side of things. According to my mom he flat out denied her being pregnant or I being his child and she broke up with him shortly after my conception because he was a pledge to a motorcycle gang in OKC. So I am probably long forgotten and no one on his side knew of my existence until I magically appeared in their DNA matches.

Dec 262023

so ya. it has been a long time. do people still do this? i feel like i have nothing to say but yet at the same time have no one to say nothing to. It feels like I am just wasting away at this thing called life. 50 years old and nothing to show for it except doing my part to polute this planet. no wife, no kids, no grand kids, working to survive and barely scrape by. No one truely loves me, no one to care for or to care for me. I just keep on getting older and fall more apart. I wish I had someone I could share these struggles with, someone to love, to argue with and all that other yin and yang that I hear comes in a relationship.

Anyway, i don’t know when I last wrote in this thing and am bored so will maybe repeat myself. Im back in Florida, back in the Tampa area. I love it here despite the cost of rent being way too fucking high.

One nice thing though is I found a job I like that doesn’t involve customer service and still involves a bit of skill and troubleshooting even though it isn’t directly relaed with computers and networking. It is a lot more relaxed than customer service and they aren’t micromanaging the shit out of you either. As long as you are doing your job to your best ability you are good. I really hated the micromanaging of customer service, even as a lead they micro managed you. A supposed member of leadership and the looked through a magnifying glass.